Can I get a Woop-Woop?

Thanking God for the clever people who figured out Citalopram.

Feeling GOOD y'all!!

Serving notice to the IttyBitty Committee

I've decided to take some of the money I've saved for tuition, and pay for a visit to the psychiatrist. Starting my bipolar meds again.

I don't know how far my savings will stretch to cover my meds, required medical aid, tuition and rent for 2013... but a functional life is worth more than money in the bank.

The shitty IttyBitty Committee

So I've been off my meds since leaving Taiwan. And at first, everything went pretty well: I was starting a new adventure in America, where all sorts of wonderful things were bound to happen! My new "Boss" had all the details of my mental health program, and had agreed to ensure continuity in my treatment.

That was not the only commitment he bailed on, but it turns out it's the one that's caused the most damage.

Fast forward to the present, and I've all but fully recovered from the sh!t-storm that was my "break in the States". All recovered, that is, except for the crap in my head.
Ambient sound transforms into noise that drowns out everything, even light. When excited, I talk louder than necessary. Sometimes my words crash somewhere between my voice box and my tongue, resulting in incomprehensible smacks and vowels. At times I lose coherence completely. I get incredibly angry at the silliest things. I zone out at random. I hate being around people, because I hate how out of place they make me feel. I don't belong here. I struggle to "play nice". I struggle to care, or I get over-emotional. I hate the way people look at me, like I'm a festering wound, like I'm what's wrong. I want to hide from their judgment. I prefer the safety of solitude, but then the silence gets too loud and I just want to jam junk in my ears. Stab out the part of my brain that processes audio.

I want out.

You phoned

... this is what I didn't say.

New

staring at a full moon
spilling over crashing waves
spraying foam in shining eyes
staring at a full moon
- MOSSEL BAY, 27 NOV 2012

iPhone cases are here!

Just in time for the holidays - custom iPhone 4/4s & 5 cases from your friends at Instacanvas! These impact resistant cases protect your phone while also giving you access to all ports and functions. We proudly use CaseMate cases for a sleek look that shows off both your phone and your amazing taste in Instagram art. Check out my gallery and order your favorites: instacanv.as/absolutwillie

Hmmm...

I feel like having a picnic
in a library filled with
trees
and unknowable
You
- DANABAAI, 11 NOV 2012

5 Top Tips for Everything

1. Listen more than you talk.
2. Keep it simple.
3. Take pride in what you do.
4. Have fun, success will follow.
5. The drawing board is your friend - start again!

Movember

Brace yourselves...

...the moustaches are coming!

Yep! This year, I've decided to join in the fun, sacrifice my beard and, in the spirit of Movember, grow a mustache from scratch. All with the aim of raising awareness of prostate- and testicular cancer!

Want to learn more about it? Or donate and sponsor my Mo?

Then go to mobro.co/absolutwillie right away!

*proof of a clean start: 1 Nov 2012

Weekend review: Joburg hail storm

Joburg hail storm: Watch this incredible footage of the intense hail storm that hit Johannesburg over the weekend.

Food poisoning

Cold sweats and shivers,
And hot fever switches,
Cramps knot my tummy
And aches claim my legs,
These are a few of my poisoning cues!

Over the last two days, I've come to certain realizations, not the least of which being that:
Chicken can not be trusted!!

Other realizations include: the value of two ply TP, cornflower has real power, a glass of water can be be vengeful, and...

I watch way too many cooking shows!

Seriously. After last night's fever-fueled dreams of Andalusian bake-offs, I may have to take a TV sabbatical. Very few things are as disturbing as trying to deconstruct gourmet pastries, while running a cooking gauntlet of consecutive workstations, set up along a rocky outcrop, all the while stopping to do the "inverted fountain" on the toilet. Speaking of which... I gotta run!

(Send help!)

Fun music video: Gangnam Style

I'm pretty sure most of you have heard/seen/otherwize experienced the Gangnam Style phenomenon.
For those of you who have no idea what I'm talking about - welcome to what's been playing in my head since Friday:



Dress classy,
Dance cheesy!

Talking Foreign: a silly Sunday list

Today I want to share something of the SMH-variety: things people say that make me Shake My Head. I can't help but chuckle whenever I witness people throwing themselves at an unfamiliar language, with no clear reason to do so. And nowhere in the world is it so painfully obvious, as right here in our wonderfully multilingual South Africa. The most comical interactions being between parties with a common tongue, choosing to interact in another - usually English.

I share these gems for your amusement:

• "How long, round about?"
• "Now listen nicely..."
• "This cutlery are so androgynous!"
• "I can like to wear a jean pant."
• "Can I make for you some tea?"
• "Just feel this sweetness..."
• "Winter bloom-coal whiff cheese, please."
• "I will you navigator."
• "I come right, don't worry."
• "Yes no you never know man."

Add your favorites in the comments below ;0)

Photoblog: Mayor's Gala

Mom and Dad went to the Mayor's Gala last night. Aren't they gorgeous?

SA creatives featured!

I always get a kick out of seeing South Africans making name for themselves!
This issue of NICE features great talent from Jozi.
Enjoy!

Open publication - Free publishing - More au retour

He's here!!!

I've got wheels again!!

Thanks to my Dad, the lovely people at Standard Bank, and Spes Bona Motors - I'm finally driving a car I've been dreaming about for a decade! It's a Peugeot 206 CC (2007 model) - and I can't wait for a reason to drive with the top down :0)

Wait... what better reason than a sunny Saturday?

See ya!

I'm in!!!

 I heard from Stellenbosch University - and I've been accepted into the PostGraduate Certificate in Education program!

*happy dance*

Classes start in February.

Now to figure out a way to pay for it.

the gallery is open!

I'd like to thank everybody who clicked and requested my gallery opening - it worked y'all!!!

now everybody can click on through to http://instacanv.as/absolutwillie and have a look at my debut exhibition:

Pretty Liturgical - textile studies of religious vestments.

 and best of all? you can now legitimately OWN your favorites!! so go on and buy, buy, buy!

I've got tuition to pay for ;0)

selling out to school up

so here's the deal: I've applied to my alma mater (Stellenbosch University) for acceptance into the Postgraduate Certificate in Education program for 2013. it is a full time, residential program which will (finally) make me a "real" teacher in the eyes of the local job market.

getting certified as a teacher will open the doors to a proper job at home - something which is frustratingly unavailable despite my existing qualifications and international experience.

here's the kicker though: it is going to cost me about US$10,000 for the year...

while I am taking on every freelance opportunity that I can grab hold of, including piece-jobs of manual labor, it is becoming all too clear that I need to investigate additional avenues.

remembering the popularity of my photography when exhibited in Missouri (when the conditions of my visa prevented me from accepting payment for them), I've decided to put my work up for sale again. issues of copyright, production, pricing and international postage are a frightful headache, and I need some way to test the market and see wether this is a worth while venture.

enter Instacanvas:

Instacanvas offers me the opportunity to open a gallery, where they handle sales, printing and shipping of purchased artwork. naturally they keep the lion's share of the money, giving the artist (me) 20% of the money made in sales. I get to retain copyright on all my images, thankfully, making it possible for me to take things further when feasible.

so I put my name down, and readied my photos.

what can you do to help? plenty!

• first of all, by merely clicking and requesting my gallrey opening on Instacanvas, you help move my gallery's opening to the front of the cue.
• secondly, once the gallery is open, you could buy my prints! (Remember, I get 20% - so I need BIG sales, and plenty of them!)

instacanv.as/absolutwillie

• OR, if you're feeling generous, you could send a donation / become a sponsor! (leave a comment and get in contact)

Zapiro loves: Oscar Pistorius

120807tt - Oscar Pistorius

Zapiro loves South Africa's Olympic Champions

120731tt - Cameron van der Burgh breaks World Record at 2012 Olympic Games

120802tt - South Africa's Olympic Butterfly Champion : Chad Le Clos

cartons copyright of Zapiro

"Big Brother's" Cookies (recipe)

I received the following on e-mail a while back. Seeing as how I received it via chain-mail - and it is therefore already in the public domain - I thought I'd share it here as well.

After all, I like cookies.

A very expensive clothing and supermarket outlet (they sell a typical R50 T-shirt for R150), raised the ire of a customer - who continued to share her story:

My daughter and I had just finished lunch at a W** Cafe in Hyde Park, Johannesburg. Because both of us are such biscuit lovers, we decided to try the 'W** Cookie'. It was so excellent that I asked if they would give me the recipe. The waitress said with a small frown, 'I'm afraid not, but you can buy the recipe.' 

I asked how much, and she responded; 'Only two fifty - it's a great deal' 

I agreed to that, and told her to add it to my bill. 

Thirty days later, I got my Visa statement, and the W** charge was R485. I looked at it again, and I remembered I had only spent R49.95 for two sandwiches and about R120 for a scarf. At the bottom of the statement, it said, 'Cookie Recipe - R250.00'. That was outrageous!
I called W** Accounting Department and told them the waitress had said it was 'two fifty', which clearly does not mean 'two hundred and fifty Rands' by any reasonable interpretation of the phrase. W** refused to budge. They would not refund my money because according to them; 'What the waitress told you is not our problem. You have already seen the recipe. We absolutely will not refund your money. 

I explained to the Accounting Department lady the criminal statutes which govern fraud in the state of Gauteng. I threatened to report them to the Better Business Bureau and The Attorney General's office. I was basically told: Do what you want. Don't bother thinking of how you can get even, and don't bother trying to get any of your money back'
I said, OK, you've got my R250, and now I'm going to have R250 worth of fun. I told her that I was going to see to it that every cookie lover in the world with an e-mail account gets a R250 cookie recipe from Neiman-Marcus for free. She replied, 'I wish you wouldn't do that.' I said, 'Well, perhaps you should have thought of that before you RIPPED ME OFF!' and slammed down the phone. 

So here it is! Please pass it on to everyone you can possibly think of. I paid R250 for this, and I don't want W** to EVER make another cent from this recipe! 

WOOLIES COOKIES (Recipe may be halved as this makes heaps)
2 (500 ml) cups butter
680 g chocolate chips
4 (1000 ml) cups flour
2 (500 ml) cups brown sugar
2 tsp. (10 ml) Bicarbonate of soda
1 tsp. (5 ml) salt
2 (500 ml) cups sugar
500 g Grated Cadbury chocolate
5 (1250 ml) cups blended oatmeal
4 eggs
2 tsp. (10 ml) baking powder
2 tsp. (10 ml) vanilla
3 cups (375 ml) chopped nuts (optional) 

Measure oatmeal, and blend in a blender to a fine powder. Cream the butter and both sugars. Add eggs and vanilla, mix together with flour, oatmeal, salt, baking powder, and bicarbonate of soda. Add chocolate chips, grated Chocolate and nuts. Roll into balls, and place two inches apart on a cookie sheet. Bake for 10 minutes at 180 C.
The above quantities make 112 cookies. 

Enjoy!

I guess that's the difference between winning a battle and losing a war ;0)

Peugeot Touch Car by Enache Florin

Peugeot Touch Car by Enache Florin » Yanko Design


you guessed it - i want one! perfect for driving in Kaohsiung :0)

Blogged with the Flock Browser

So you missed my birthday?

Here's how you can make up for under $80

Mt Rushmore

Compliments for Strangers

thetrevorproject:

Thanks Davey Wavey for putting a smile on more than a few people’s faces with this random act of kindness.

Invite: Gallery 7 Spring exhibits

WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR - DANNY ROSE

Uploaded by DanRoManagement on Mar 27, 2012

"This is my marriage proposal video to the love of my life. I cant imagine anyone telling us we cannot get married! The song is available on iTunes and 100% of the profits will goto marriage equality. Please enjoy and share and comment!"

http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/what-are-we-waiting-for-single/id512975897

If someone's knocking:

For those who are fortunate enough to have someone knocking on your door:

It is easier to love than to be loved. Accept love: it will not wait at your doorstep forever.
- Paolo Coelho

Gayborhoods: Intersections of Land Use Regulation, Sexual Minorities, and the Creative Class

[By:] Charles J. Ten Brink 

Michigan State University - College of Law
Georgia State University Law Review, Forthcoming
MSU Legal Studies Research Paper No. 10-03 
Abstract:      
This Article advocates the municipal encouragement and maintenance of diversity, specifically the inclusion of sexual minorities, through changes in the traditional application of the forms of land use regulation. Bringing together previously distinct conversations about the societal goals of land use planning and the social value placed on diversity by increasing numbers of consumer voters, the Article draws on New Urbanism and Richard Florida’s concept of the creative class to argue that the presence in a municipality of a visible, accepted, and integrated LGBTQ community signifies and stimulates not only the social but the fiscal health of that municipality. Building on and distinguishing the historical development of naturally occurring gayborhoods, this Article suggests a rationale and mechanisms for encouraging the growth of such communities. Land use regulation is one means by which a diversity-sensitive municipality can establish marginal advantages over otherwise similarly situated municipalities; in a society offering a wide variety of choices to members of the creative class, this competitive advantage is significant.



[Paper linked here.]

What I learned about...

RAILROAD TRACKS:

The US standard railroad gauge (distance between the rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches. That's an exceedingly odd number. Why was that gauge used?

Because that's the way they built them in England and English expatriates designed the US railroads.

Why did the English build them like that?

Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the pre-railroad tramways and that's the gauge they used. 

Why did 'they' use that gauge then?
Because the people who built the
tramways used the same jigs and tools that they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular odd wheel spacing?
Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels wouldbreak on some of the old, long distance roads in England , because that's the spacing of the wheel ruts.

So who built those old rutted roads?

Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including England ) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.

And the ruts in the roads?
Roman war chariots formed the initial ruts, which everyone else had to match for fear of destroying their wagon wheels. Since the chariots were made for Imperial Rome, they were all alike in the matter of wheel spacing.

 Therefore the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war chariot. Bureaucracies live forever. 

The next time you are handed a specification/procedure/process and wonder 'What horse's ass came up with this?', you may be exactly right. Imperial Roman army chariots were made just
wide enough to accommodate the rear ends of two war horses. (Two horses' butts.)

Now - the twist to the story:

A Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad has two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main fuel tank. These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.

The SRBs are made by Thiokol at a factory in Utah.

Engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit fatter, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the launch site. The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.

The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's most advanced transportation system, was determined over two thousand years ago by the width of a horse's ass!

And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important!

So this St. Patrick's Day...

It is Saturday morning in Saint Joseph, MO, and I'm pondering the virtues of the day. It's St. Patrick's Day parade day, by all accounts - but I'm not exactly sure what that means.

According to Wikipedia, its origin is religious (Catholic, really), so folks are supposed to go to church. It is also a feast to celebrate the end of Lenten restrictions, so folks should eat stuff. It is also a celebration of Irish culture - hence the green, the corned beef, and the cabbage.

Having had corned beef and cabbage for lunch yesterday - and still experiencing a feint tickle on the tip of my tongue - I think I'll pass on more of the same, thank you very much.

From what I can tell, though, it seems today is pretty much going to revolve around coloring sh!t green, and booze.

*yawn*

Am I being over analytical? Is it a better idea to go out and give this parade a shot? Or am I just going to be faced with drunks in green?

It Isn't Your Town - It's You

Compliments Worth County Times

Grant City, Missouri

If you want to live in the kind of town

Like the kind of town you like,

You needn't slip your clothes in a grip

And start on a long, long hike.

You'll only find what you left behind,

For there's nothing that's really new.

It's a knock at yourself when you knock your town.

It isn't your town - it's you!

Real towns are not made by men afraid

Lest somebody else gets ahead.

When everyone works and nobody shirks

You can raise a town from the dead.

And if while you make your personal stake

Your neighbor can make one, too,

Your town will be what you want to see.

It isn't your town - it's YOU!

Decoding Academia

via Facebook

Brilliantly correct incorrectness

Image from "Absolutely Pathetic" via Google Image search

My Mom sent me this funny list of questions and answers:

ANSWERS OF A BRILLIANT STUDENT WHO OBTAINED 0% (I would have given him 100%) Q1. In which battle did Napoleon die? his last battle Q2. Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? at the bottom of the page Q3. River Ravi flows in which state? liquid Q4. What is the main reason for divorce? marriage Q5. What is the main reason for failure? exams Q6. What can you never eat for breakfast? lunch & dinner Q7. What looks like half an apple? the other half Q8. If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what it will become? it will simply become wet Q9. How can a man go eight days without sleeping ?? No problem, he sleeps at night. Q10. How can you lift an elephant with one hand? You will never find an elephant that has only one hand.. Q11. If you had three apples and four oranges in one hand and four apples and three oranges in other hand, what would you have ? Very large hands Q12. If it took eight men ten hours to build a wall, how long would it take four men to build it? No time at all, the wall is already built. Q13. How can u drop a raw egg onto a concrete floor without cracking it? Concrete floors are very hard to crack.

CALL FOR VOLUNTEERS: Special Olympics Missouri Northwest Area

Hello All,

We are gearing up for our 2012 District Bowling Competition for Special Olympics Missouri that will be held in St. Joe, MO March 3-4! We will be utilizing Belt Bowl and Southside Family Fun Center for this amazing event! 

We are still in need of volunteers to ensure that we provide the best bowling competition to our athletes. They deserve the best!  If you are interested in volunteering we could really use your help. We have 1200 SOMO Athletes coming into town to compete. They must win a gold or silver medal in order to advance to the State Tourney in Columbia in May. If you would like to be a part of this special event you can sign up to volunteer at the link below:

Volunteer Link: here

Then click on: St. Joseph District Bowling March 3-4

We hope that you can make it out that weekend. When you visit our volunteer site you can click whichever shifts fit into your time schedule. We would truly appreciate you sending this on to anyone you think might be interested in being a part of this event. Thank you!!!

Katie Hrenchir | Associate Area Director | Special Olympics Missouri Northwest Area

520 Francis Street | St. Joseph, MO  64501 | P: 816-233-6232 | F: 816-233-0130

www.somo.org | hrenchir@somo.org | Be a fan.  Like us on Facebook.

Take the pledge to stop using the word “retarded” and start treating others with respect.

www.r-word.org.

developing websites

check out the website I've been working on:

www.museumhillneighborhood.com

Like it, and link to it!

Walking with my neighbors

Living in a historic neighborhood is turning out to be the most fun I've had in ages! Joining the Museum Hill Neighborhood Association was just what the doctor ordered.

Some of the neighbors got together this morning, for a walk around the neighborhood. After yesterday's delicious decadence at the Gothic House, I definitely needed the exercise! So I got up, dressed up, and stepped up. And boy, am I glad I did!! We walked quite a bit more than I thought we would, but it was so much fun!! I got to meet new neighbors, chat with neighbors I already know, and learn quite a bit in the process.

Here are some of the pictures I snapped along the way:

Chain mail and hoaxes

I found the following message in my WhatsApp inbox, when I woke up this morning:

"Whatsapp is shutting down on 28th jan Message from Jim Balsamic (CEO of Whatsapp) we have had an over usage of user names on whatsapp Messenger. We are requesting all users to forward this message to their entire contact list. If you do not forward this message, we will take it as your account is invalid and it will be deleted within the next 48 hours. Please DO NOT ignore this message or whatsapp will no longer recognise your activation. If you wish to re-activate your account after it has been deleted, a charge of 25.00 will be added to your monthly bill. We are also aware of the issue involving the pictures updates not showing. We are working diligently at fixing this problem and it will be up and running as soon as possible. Thank you for your cooperation from the Whatsapp team"

I thought it sounded fishy, and it wasn't difficult to look them up and double check. As I had suspected:
“@WhatsApp: it is just a hoax: http://t.co/Go8KLqDi”

As is the case with email, our texting applications are targeted by hoaxers and scammers. It can be tough to keep a level head - but it is quite easy to check things out. Use your twitter or google search capabilities, if you are unsure. As unlikely as it is that Bill Gates is tracking the email in your mailbox, or that some Nigerian Bank executive has millions of dollars with your name on it - chances are equally unlikely that your chat-app usage is being monitored by the Giant Spaghetti Monster in the Sky.

Remember kids: If it smells fishy, it probably is. (Also consider washing your upper lip...)

Last night...

... it snowed! After driving home (ever so carefully), I tried parking the car in the carriage house. The angles are way too tight, though, and I'm nut sure about the car's width - so I stopped it in front of the house, as always. But at around 11PM, a city truck came down the street, honking at each intersection. It did this three times. Anticipating a Snow Route-plow (or Armageddon), I moved the car to the side street. Nobody else did anything. I'm such a sucker.

Anyhoo, come 3AM, Luscious decides to pull a Houdini, and opens the doggie-gate barring my room. I was too cold to shoo her back to their bedroom, but I did manage a peep outside. Nothing. That silly truck driver must've been drunk and joyriding.

This morning, all is covered in a thin layer of snow, and I can see my breath in my study. The wind is seriously affecting my sense of coziness...

I'm rambling, aren't I. Bugger.

Happy Thursday everyone!