Urgent anti-bully message to educators: Do more to stop it

Urgent anti-bully message to educators: Do more to stop it is a cross-blog from Annie Fox’s Blog

Annie Fox, M.Ed., is an internationally respected parenting expert, 

award-winning author, and a trusted online adviser for tweens teens.

(via @TeachersApps) 

They say schools are no longer in the business of teaching good citizenship, character, ethics or whatever you want to call it because educators are too busy “teaching to the test.” There’s no test for character that can be graded to give districts bragging rights for getting their scores up, so why teach this stuff? Because there actually is a test for character. It’s called Life and we ought to be teaching to it. When we don’t, we get this…

Hey Terra,

People at school don’t like me because me and this popular girl got into a little fight and I won. To get even she spread rumours about me saying I was in a mental institution for weird and violent behavior (a complete lie). Then everyone started to insult and ignore me. She does it the most. They say stuff like “Hey freak! No one likes you, so why dont you take a long walk off a short bridge?” Everyday. I don’t get a break from it. I insult them back. I know I probably shouldn’t bother, but it’s really hard not to. It’s like automatic for me now. I don’ t like being told to basically die. It’s not right for anyone to be told that.

So Fed Up

See it. Name it. Stop it.

Dear Fed Up,

These kids are being rude and cruel. I know it’s hard to hear this crap and try to brush it off. I’ve heard it said that no one can bring you down without your permission. That’s kinda true and kinda not. Humans are wired to be emotional. We’re also wired to want other people to like us. So when someone shouts angry words in your face or online, your human wiring kicks in. Your heart beats faster (and not in a good way) and you feel attacked. Even if the person isn’t someone you know or care about. Even if what he or she says is a lie. Words hurt. We feel it. So I totally understand the temptation to attack back. Except… it doesn’t help. You’ve seen that. It just makes things worse. Like throwing gasoline on a fire. That won’t put it out.

But you need to learn to take care of yourself. That doesn’t mean yelling nasty stuff back at people who are mean to you. You need to take care of yourself by figuring out how to response so that

a) you don’t give anyone permission to push your buttons so you automatically react like a puppet and
b) at least one adult at school and/or at home steps in and gets to the bottom of this so that this girl and her followers no longer feel they’ve got the right to talk to you or anyone in this way.

I just took my fingers off the keyboard for a minute.  I’m taking a deep breath now, because hearing about this stuff every day really upsets me. I feel frustrated there are kids who believe it’s OK to be mean to other kids. I also feel frustrated that the adults who run schools (principals, counselors, teachers, coaches) have not done a better job making school a safer more accepting place for all students all the time.

Still breathing. It helps. Take some deep breaths on your own whenever you need to calm down. Then think about what would really make this situation better. Forget about trying to talk to the girl. Go to adults in power. Talk to your parents. Tell them what you told me. Tell them just how Fed Up you are. Talk to the principal (with or without your parents). Talk to the school counselor. This has to stop. Adults can make it stop. Remind them it’s their job.

Take care.
In friendship,
Terra

————–

I’m so sick of the situations that prompt these emails. Where are the adults in charge? Do they really not know what’s going on? Do they believe it’s not part of their “job” to get involved with fights between students? Do they worry they’ll get no support from their administrators if they step in? Do they worry they’ll get  in trouble with parents for calling out kids who are disrepecting other kids? Or have they just given up, believing that peer harassment is a problem bigger than any remedy they might offer in the moment?

I don’t know what school administrators and teachers think about the bullying that persists in their schools. Why don’t you tell me? I’m listening.

– See more of Annie Fox here

40 Days

The Matrics celebrated their "40 Day"-milestone today. With the end of their High School career in sight, they came dressed as whom/what they wanted to become. There were nurses, race car drivers, lawyers, engineers – even a teacher or two! Naturally there were also those who took the Mickey out of it, and came dressed as wildlife, witches and wh... alternative traders (post dusk).

I wonder how their teachers felt about the day. Was it a joyous celebration of a path well travelled, or more of a lookout post half-way up a mountain: from which one gazes with both trepidation and relief?

At this stage of the game it really is all about academics, and a large portion of Grade 12s start realizing it 'round about now. The Record Exams starting on Monday, and the Final Exams of next term, are the culmination of 12 years of learning, studying and the choices each learner made along the way. Those who started taking their studies serious earlier on have an advantage over those who only realized today that their scores directly influence how and when (even "if") they are going to reach their life goals.

Making your dreams come true is a conscious decision and a daily choice all through your school career. Now impacts what comes next – in fact, now causes what comes next. (Duh!) Let's look at an example from my L.O. class:

Say your dream is to have a family one day, what do you need to make it happen? Perhaps a spouse, a house, a car and some kids? Maybe even a pet or two? Now... how are you going to afford it? "Work!" you might say. Absolutely, that's kind of obvious. But how much do you need to earn? Keep in mind that every child is a Ferrari in financial terms. From pregnancy to 18 years of age, each child will cost you the equivalent of a Ferrari purchase. (Not necessarily the top of the range model though...) Then there's the home you want to live in, and the car you want to drive, and the vacations you want to take... Realizing such dreams all depends on what you do now. Which depends on everything you've done so far.

Have you made the right decisions so far? Are you making them now?

It is with all honesty that I can say that I truly wish nothing but success, happiness and love to all of the learners at this school. They really are magnificent young people, with great talent and all the potential in the world! Unfortunately my wishing it, doesn't make it so. It is up to them to decide what they want, and how they are going to get it.

Study smart, study hard, and make it work.

When frustration strikes

There is so much we can share with each other – so many ways in which we can enrich each other's lives – and so much we can learn and discover together.

But we don't. 

Some don't know how to, and some just won't.

Why not?

I suspect Fear keeps all of us neatly chained inside our boxes. The fear of losing face keeps us from sharing what we don't know, in order to grow together. The fear of losing control keeps us from allowing freedom of thought, discovery and risking ideas that might change something. The fear of standing out of the crowd keeps us from fulfilling our own potential and reaching greatness.

This is what frustrated me today.

I don't like being chained.

I can't stand it when people chain themselves.

I absolutely abhor those who chain others.

Am I the only one?

As teachers, I believe that we should remain open to new ideas, new ways of doing as well as new ways of learning – especially when the learning party is oneself! There is no shame in stating what we don't know, for this humanizes us and opens us up to learning whilst simultaneously encouraging our learners to do the same. I also believe that we should remember that teaching and learning are both social as well as intensely personal activities. We should work with the masses in showing the way, whilst remembering to allow for individualization. The internal learning process which should actively work towards encouraging personal growth and development of self in each of our learners. In doing this, we should be nurturing a group which recognizes,  encourages and celebrates the powerful beauty of each of its members.

Break the chains of Fear – and live in the unique light of Potential!

Help me finish my PGCE!

As many of you know, I'm working hard to complete my Postgraduate Certificate in Education this year. Following various jobs, projects and labor - I had managed to save up enough funds to pay for tuition. Woohoo!!! 

But I didn't count on the "additional" expenses (accommodation, insurance, groceries and fuel) - which have now eaten through two thirds of my tuition money. At this rate, I'll be broke and homeless by April. With the PGCE program being such an intensive, one year program of full-time study, getting a "day job" didn't work out. Successfully completing this program leaves little time for sleep, and no time for distractions like romance or employment.

Out of pure desperation, and with a few moments to spare on this Sunday, I've decided to go for the only option left to me: to just ask for help.

Please help.

Contact me through the comment section (moderated) for details, or support my GoFundMe page:

Help me finish my PGCE!

Thank you!

iPhone cases are here!

Just in time for the holidays - custom iPhone 4/4s & 5 cases from your friends at Instacanvas! These impact resistant cases protect your phone while also giving you access to all ports and functions. We proudly use CaseMate cases for a sleek look that shows off both your phone and your amazing taste in Instagram art. Check out my gallery and order your favorites: instacanv.as/absolutwillie

Movember

Brace yourselves...

...the moustaches are coming!

Yep! This year, I've decided to join in the fun, sacrifice my beard and, in the spirit of Movember, grow a mustache from scratch. All with the aim of raising awareness of prostate- and testicular cancer!

Want to learn more about it? Or donate and sponsor my Mo?

Then go to mobro.co/absolutwillie right away!

*proof of a clean start: 1 Nov 2012

the gallery is open!

I'd like to thank everybody who clicked and requested my gallery opening - it worked y'all!!!

now everybody can click on through to http://instacanv.as/absolutwillie and have a look at my debut exhibition:

Pretty Liturgical - textile studies of religious vestments.

 and best of all? you can now legitimately OWN your favorites!! so go on and buy, buy, buy!

I've got tuition to pay for ;0)

selling out to school up

so here's the deal: I've applied to my alma mater (Stellenbosch University) for acceptance into the Postgraduate Certificate in Education program for 2013. it is a full time, residential program which will (finally) make me a "real" teacher in the eyes of the local job market.

getting certified as a teacher will open the doors to a proper job at home - something which is frustratingly unavailable despite my existing qualifications and international experience.

here's the kicker though: it is going to cost me about US$10,000 for the year...

while I am taking on every freelance opportunity that I can grab hold of, including piece-jobs of manual labor, it is becoming all too clear that I need to investigate additional avenues.

remembering the popularity of my photography when exhibited in Missouri (when the conditions of my visa prevented me from accepting payment for them), I've decided to put my work up for sale again. issues of copyright, production, pricing and international postage are a frightful headache, and I need some way to test the market and see wether this is a worth while venture.

enter Instacanvas:

Instacanvas offers me the opportunity to open a gallery, where they handle sales, printing and shipping of purchased artwork. naturally they keep the lion's share of the money, giving the artist (me) 20% of the money made in sales. I get to retain copyright on all my images, thankfully, making it possible for me to take things further when feasible.

so I put my name down, and readied my photos.

what can you do to help? plenty!

• first of all, by merely clicking and requesting my gallrey opening on Instacanvas, you help move my gallery's opening to the front of the cue.
• secondly, once the gallery is open, you could buy my prints! (Remember, I get 20% - so I need BIG sales, and plenty of them!)

instacanv.as/absolutwillie

• OR, if you're feeling generous, you could send a donation / become a sponsor! (leave a comment and get in contact)

It Isn't Your Town - It's You

Compliments Worth County Times

Grant City, Missouri

If you want to live in the kind of town

Like the kind of town you like,

You needn't slip your clothes in a grip

And start on a long, long hike.

You'll only find what you left behind,

For there's nothing that's really new.

It's a knock at yourself when you knock your town.

It isn't your town - it's you!

Real towns are not made by men afraid

Lest somebody else gets ahead.

When everyone works and nobody shirks

You can raise a town from the dead.

And if while you make your personal stake

Your neighbor can make one, too,

Your town will be what you want to see.

It isn't your town - it's YOU!

CALL FOR VOLUNTEERS: Special Olympics Missouri Northwest Area

Hello All,

We are gearing up for our 2012 District Bowling Competition for Special Olympics Missouri that will be held in St. Joe, MO March 3-4! We will be utilizing Belt Bowl and Southside Family Fun Center for this amazing event! 

We are still in need of volunteers to ensure that we provide the best bowling competition to our athletes. They deserve the best!  If you are interested in volunteering we could really use your help. We have 1200 SOMO Athletes coming into town to compete. They must win a gold or silver medal in order to advance to the State Tourney in Columbia in May. If you would like to be a part of this special event you can sign up to volunteer at the link below:

Volunteer Link: here

Then click on: St. Joseph District Bowling March 3-4

We hope that you can make it out that weekend. When you visit our volunteer site you can click whichever shifts fit into your time schedule. We would truly appreciate you sending this on to anyone you think might be interested in being a part of this event. Thank you!!!

Katie Hrenchir | Associate Area Director | Special Olympics Missouri Northwest Area

520 Francis Street | St. Joseph, MO  64501 | P: 816-233-6232 | F: 816-233-0130

www.somo.org | hrenchir@somo.org | Be a fan.  Like us on Facebook.

Take the pledge to stop using the word “retarded” and start treating others with respect.

www.r-word.org.

watch it. watch it again.

and watch it in full screen,

with the volume way up...

if you're going to drive - don't drink. AT ALL.

and if you see your "tipsy" friend taking his/her keys and heading for the door - take their keys, get them home safely, worry about the vehicle when everyone's sober. (an acquaintance of mine gave his buddy his bike's keys back, who proceeded to smash into someone else.)

THINK

before you

DRINK

before you

D(R)I(V)E

True Colors: it gets better

turn up the volume

and view this in full screen

thank you to the Gay Men's Chorus of LA!

Joel Burns reaches out

... and I hope many more will stand up for the cause of love and acceptance.

If your child, or a child you know of, is self-identiefied or even perceived to be lgbti - PLEASE reach out to him/her in love and acceptance. Even if you do not understand it yourself - does that matter when you're saving a life?

And if your child, or a child you know of, is bullying others - PLEASE take action, and save another life - as well as his/her soul. Being - or believing to be the cause of another's death, is also life-threatening and soul destroying.

Lastly, let us all take a moment to remember where children get their ideas from: We are culpable. We are responsible. We form their opinions, their attitudes and beliefs - and however indirectly, we guide their actions.

Did my silence/rashness contribute to someone's feeling of hopelessness?

Did my invisibility contribute to a suicide?

Did yours?

cute, fun, and worth doing for real

IDAHO 2010 - the great, global kiss-in

do you follow the postsecret project?

truth or lies - all stories should be told

true - if china didn't force this movie out of Taiwan by increasing the numbers of missiles pointed at us, i would probably have missed it.

from common room productions:

Synopsis:

THE 10 CONDITIONS OF LOVE is a love story – of a woman, a man, a family, a people and a homeland. It is the story of Rebiya Kadeer, China’s nightmare – the woman it accuses of inciting terrorism.

It is also the story of the other Tibet, the Muslim Tibet - the country its people call East Turkestan, but which the Chinese call Xinjiang Province - the other stain on China’s moral character.

It is a big story: a story of the ruthless oppression of 20-million people; of the global politics of energy; of Super Power politicking over the War on Terror; and of the pain of a deeply loving family torn violently apart.

Exiled in the US, Rebiya Kadeer is fighting for the human rights of her people, the Uyghur (pron. wee-ger), China’s oppressed Muslim minority. But Rebiya Kadeer’s campaign condemns her sons to on-going solitary confinement in a Chinese prison. Having done six years solitary herself, she understands the appalling consequences for them of her actions - but she will not relent.

Twice nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, once the richest businessperson in China, Rebiya Kadeer is a remarkable woman who pays daily a terrible price for patriotism.

And it will never be over.

Geoff!

Geoffrey,

please drop me a line and let me know you're okay.

Please.

a calling or a bluff?

as some of you may know (twitter), I received a mail from the Lesbian and Gay Equality Project in SA. they've undergone some major revamping - and my old position has been modified and opened up for applications...

could this be a second chance to do things right? or a second chance to kick myself in the teeth...

I believe very strongly that the Lord works in mysterious ways. in fact - that's how I came to Taiwan! is He calling me back to finish the job I ran away from 6 years ago?

or am I making too much of this?

LGBTI rights and equality are very dear to me - and I do want to help heal the world... but part of me is holding back.

been there, done that, got burnt to a crisp. reason dictates that I stay as far away as possible.

then again - I've grown and healed so much since then. is this not an extention of my purpose? to teach, nurture and protect?

I spoke to Peter about this last night. there is a lot to consider - and pray over.

any thoughts?

PS: this song played on my iPod right after i pressed "send" on ShoZu

the IDAHO Challenge

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