How to derail our dating potential

Generally people seem to believe that I'm an easygoing, low maintenance and generally nice kind of guy. This makes me happy. While I am all for being an agreeable fellow, there are some things that tweak my tits. In the interest of any potential suitor who cares to read this, the following actions (in no particular order) will get you nowhere fast:

1. Changing my name. If you don't like what my folks called me, I won't like you.

2. Claiming my pets as your children (step/foster included). If we ain't married when you do this, we ain't never gonna be.

3. Trying to fix me / get me off my meds. I'm bipolar, not broken.

4. Texting paragraphs in rapid succession, using All Caps for emphasis and/or multiple punctuation marks. I'll think you need therapy, not attention.

5. Making light of alcoholism. Bitch no.

6. Cringing at queer culture, -expression, -humor, -linguistics or -rights related work. If we're dating, you're bi/gay/msm. Deal.

7. Being prejudiced. Full stop.

8. Believing racism is a 'white' thing. That idea is racist – see no.7.

9. Denying me my own culture and language. Afrikaans is integral to who I am. Classifying Afrikaans speakers as racist makes you prejudiced. See no's 7&8.

10. Hating on believers. While it's your right, and I might have a thing against organized religion, I don't appreciate the belittling of faith. Mine or anyone else's.

Perhaps I'm being a cranky old man. Maybe all lines should be crossed. That's okay. Do whatever you want out there. I'm just saying that if you want to get with this scatterbrained wreckademic, you need to get with his program.

#mustlovedogs

Wicked Wednesday word-wars

"Familiarity breeds contempt" someone once told me. What transpired this afternoon partly confirmed the validity of that claim. I say only partly because, to a large extent, today's fall-out wasn't necessarily founded in familiarity. Probably the larger contributor to this situation was that of growing disappointment and a touch of resentment. Here's what happened:

After seven and a half weeks of working together on our practicum, some of our colleagues have grown quite weary of those who had not contributed, engaged or done their part. This manifested in a heated exchange of words on our WhatsApp group, when a meeting to compile our group assignment was convened. Those who had been slinking by in the shadows were represented by statements of impropriety as to the "suddenness" of this arrangement, while the diligent faction responded by pointing out that participation throughout the practicum period would have negated any perceptions of "suddenness" and "unfair treatment".

In the end the Slinkers slunk away, and the worker bees did the work.

Lesson: Work hard with those who work hard, and reap the rewards.

Annoyed

Annoyed annoyed annoyed
I am viciously annoyed.
Ticked off, miffed,
agitated and
oh
so very
vexed!

Some of you will remember that I had presented a lesson on "Poetry for Enjoyment" when Prof. Beets came to critique me. The lesson served as a bridge between the movie "Dead Poets Society" and the Grade 11 Prepared Reading task, which made up their oral assignment for the term. After the D-day lesson, I presented this lesson to my Mentor's other Gr.11 class to their surprised delight.

It's a fun lesson, carefully crafted to achieve the "unthinkable" – making poetry so much fun, that you'd want to delve into it at home, in your own time, and love it.

Following my two presentations in my Mentor's classes, she suggested that the other Gr.11 English teachers consider having me present this lesson after they're classes have watched the movie. A suggestion which seems to've been received quite well, judging by the bookings I received. Of course I had to make room for these lessons in my L.O.-schedule, but I figured it was worth it for me, for the learners, and for the love of poetry!

Today saw me presenting this lesson to 11B, with both their teacher and the Department Head in the classroom. The light wasn't ideal for the overhead projector, but the lesson went down without a hitch. The learners seemed to love it, and their teacher said how enjoyable he found it. The Department Head, whose classes are up tomorrow and the day after, was however not as enthusiastic about the poem I used at the end of my lesson to drive it all home. She asked that I change it to one of the Gr.12 EFAL poems she had on a DVD.

This is the poem I have been using all this while as an exercise in performing a reading:

I'm sure you can imagine the hilarity (enjoyment) that ensued once learners were given the text to this poem and told they had two minutes to prepare a fun way of reading it, and then reading it in front of the whole class. Right there. (Yes, I'm incorrigible – with purpose.)

The plaintiff flat-out refused that part of the lesson.
These are the poems I've been asked to substitute it with:

Guy Butler – A Prayer for All My Countrymen
Roy Campbell – The Serf
John Donne – Death Be Not Proud
Charles Eglington – Cheetah
John Milton – On His Blindness
Oswald Mtshali – The birth of Shaka
William Shakespeare – Sonnet 116
Karl Shapiro – Auto Wreck
Stephen Spender – An Elementary School Classroom in a Slum
W.D. Snodgrass – Mementos, 1

WTF? Let's switch out a light-hearted, nonsensical and funny little poem for something more... well, either high-browed convoluted-ness or death and misery. Great.

Of course these poems are all fantastic works of art – in the same way a Rembrandt is fantastic. They're also just as much fun...

I'll have to make a plan.

When frustration strikes

There is so much we can share with each other – so many ways in which we can enrich each other's lives – and so much we can learn and discover together.

But we don't. 

Some don't know how to, and some just won't.

Why not?

I suspect Fear keeps all of us neatly chained inside our boxes. The fear of losing face keeps us from sharing what we don't know, in order to grow together. The fear of losing control keeps us from allowing freedom of thought, discovery and risking ideas that might change something. The fear of standing out of the crowd keeps us from fulfilling our own potential and reaching greatness.

This is what frustrated me today.

I don't like being chained.

I can't stand it when people chain themselves.

I absolutely abhor those who chain others.

Am I the only one?

As teachers, I believe that we should remain open to new ideas, new ways of doing as well as new ways of learning – especially when the learning party is oneself! There is no shame in stating what we don't know, for this humanizes us and opens us up to learning whilst simultaneously encouraging our learners to do the same. I also believe that we should remember that teaching and learning are both social as well as intensely personal activities. We should work with the masses in showing the way, whilst remembering to allow for individualization. The internal learning process which should actively work towards encouraging personal growth and development of self in each of our learners. In doing this, we should be nurturing a group which recognizes,  encourages and celebrates the powerful beauty of each of its members.

Break the chains of Fear – and live in the unique light of Potential!

Dear God in Heaven...

... please let me never, ever be expected or requested to organize colleagues or staff ever again. And have mercy on my soul if it turns out that I have to, despite my plea...

And also thank you Lord, for kids who step forward and make use of the opportunity to work with us one-on-one! My greatest joy comes from helping someone find some sort of solution. Even if that solution is merely a way to remember Figures of Speech.

I had a learner come to me after dinner tonight and thank me for the additional tutoring ("study skills" evening class) we  had held at one of the residences. One "thank you" out of over a hundred learners – and it was exactly what I needed!

Teaching: flame on!

Roaring misery

I had to raise my voice at a class today. Roared rather. It was a last resort, and it worked, but I hated doing it. To tell the truth, it upset me enough to spoil lunch. (Nothing ever spoils my meals.)

The thing is, I take issue with disrespect. And today seemed to've been the day for it.

The Matric class that brought me to roaring-point got me there by blatantly disrespecting one of my colleagues, who was doing her level best to keep their work as fun and light-hearted as possible. No matter how much she asked for their cooperation – or just to keep it down – the kids acted as if she wasn't even there. Even less so that the other observing student-teacher and I were there as wel.

So I roared. And it worked.
But I hated doing it.
Little did I know that the undercurrent of disrespect had only started manifesting.

We were asked to invigilate at the Gr. 12's final exam (paper 3) in Afrikaans after school. All went well, until a member of staff and Gr.12 accomplice decided to throw a bomb-cracker down the corridor where the paper was being written. I happened to be standing in the corridor at the time. The bomb-cracker went off right behind me, and when I looked around I saw the culprits tearing up with laughter. Such blatant disrespect for the other students, the exam and the invigilators (not counting my stinging ears) struck me dumb. And from faculty!?

Apparently it's that teacher's "thing".

Everyone looks the other way.

I can not see myself associated with any school where this sort of thing is accepted.

Food poisoning

Cold sweats and shivers,
And hot fever switches,
Cramps knot my tummy
And aches claim my legs,
These are a few of my poisoning cues!

Over the last two days, I've come to certain realizations, not the least of which being that:
Chicken can not be trusted!!

Other realizations include: the value of two ply TP, cornflower has real power, a glass of water can be be vengeful, and...

I watch way too many cooking shows!

Seriously. After last night's fever-fueled dreams of Andalusian bake-offs, I may have to take a TV sabbatical. Very few things are as disturbing as trying to deconstruct gourmet pastries, while running a cooking gauntlet of consecutive workstations, set up along a rocky outcrop, all the while stopping to do the "inverted fountain" on the toilet. Speaking of which... I gotta run!

(Send help!)

watch it. watch it again.

and watch it in full screen,

with the volume way up...

if you're going to drive - don't drink. AT ALL.

and if you see your "tipsy" friend taking his/her keys and heading for the door - take their keys, get them home safely, worry about the vehicle when everyone's sober. (an acquaintance of mine gave his buddy his bike's keys back, who proceeded to smash into someone else.)

THINK

before you

DRINK

before you

D(R)I(V)E

if you get lost between the moon

... and Starbucks: SSSSHHHHH!!!
university student who no like study at library
(acloss a stleet)
also no like you talking and laughing
in public
(of all places)

i mean, really?!
no offense,
but really??

Time Capsule Fail

2nd Time Capsule unit to have a faulty internal drive... grrr!!

sometimes you just have to love

this old life's a great, big game
or, at times, a dirty, rotten shame
but through the bickering and bantering
som bric-a-brac and slandering
one thing stands above
sometimes, you just have to love

when your lover breaks your heart
by acting like a tart
or silence builds a prison
you didn't want to be in
there's not much use for sunscreen
or being a royal Prejean
maybe, you just have to love

and if, perhaps, one random morning
when trying to sleep gets kinda boring
after all your plans have gone belly-up
and you're just so close to giving up
get up and rouge it
you gotta live through it
and yeah, you just have to love

huh? say what?

and before you know it, it's friday. what happened to my week? (besides Aunt Debra's beeped-up annual visit... i suspect she'll be around for a wee while.)

well, work. i'm still getting into the swing of things - and the frequent tests have me at my wits end, frankly. it's quite a skip from kindergarten to "real school", i tell you. not to mention the report cards! i'm pretty sure my biological operating system was engineered to crash whenever presented with one of those. i quite literally get the shits. naturally the itty bitty committee has a field day with this...

Aaarrgghhh! AND today is pumpkin carving day, which means tomorrow is the halloween party - and i've never carved a pumpkin before, and i don't have a costume!

honestly, if i had hair, it'd be in clumps in my white-knuckled fists right now.

*breathe*

okay, i'm spazzing out here. time for a snack... gaaack! look at the time! only half an hour left and i still have 6 report cards to agonize over!!

oi vey.

here's a song for ya - have a better day, okay?

a fanvid of Sam Sparro's Black & Gold:

justice served cold

remember the fellow who broke Ben's nose, gave me nightmares and inherited my kids?

his attitude got him fired yesterday.

i'm not saying, i'm just saying...

loony season

update:

• still processing the disappearance of a friend.
• decided that the snake-dream was about my fear of letting my kids go.
• doctor decided to change my medication - feeling a bit like a lab-rat for not understanding the reasons.
• am still sane because I am loved.
• enjoyed the kindergarten's graduation ceremony.
• prepared emotionally for my last day at school on Monday.
• shocked by the news of one colleague assaulting another.

what? yes - you heard me:

the (by now not-so-)new teacher (whom I've expressed concern about before) drove to Ben's house - and assaulted him...

this is the guy who's inheriting my class on Monday!

no wonder I dream of snakes hunting my kids...

spam on my blog?

yup - madness of madness: shock! shock! horror! horror!

my blog has been spammed. somehow, somewhere, a terribly clever new bot (deceptecon?) managed to hijack my blog-by-email settings. 2 posts were made without my knowledge - the last one being: "start earning 15 minutes from now", which automatically loaded another site.

these posts have been deleted and I have disabled blog-by-email.

if you have a blogger or blogspot blog - i suggest you double check your security settings.

sh!t happens.

shout out

to the smelly "700" driver of the black mercedes benz that nearly ran us over at Rei Fon market:
if you'd hurt Peter - i would have had no problem fracturing each of our extremities with my bare hands, before watching you choke on your own tongue.

if you want to drive like an idiot - go do it off a cliff!

eish

yesterday's post was a functional cop-out. you see, i had had a very testing day - and what could've transpired through a heart-felt post... would've been nasty. desert storm-ish even. in the manner of: "ooh, my foot itches - let me blast off my entire leg with a pipe-bomb or two".

i do that sometimes...
figuratively, of course.

the source of my discontent, however, managed to worm into my head space again today. and if it wasn't for Peter - i'd most probably be spewing all sorts of bile right now.

you see, my unsuspecting knight in shining armor brought me something from the chicken bbq-lady close to his parents' place. decadently oily and seriously delicious, the chicken skin and (brace yourself) chicken asses-on-a-stick* lifted my mood completely! nothing like a good, greasy treat to put a smile on my dial *lol* and not only does he treat me to random snacks of the most forbidden variety - he also listens patiently as i rant away and calls me his poor little bunny.

laughing is such great medicine!

all at once i'm reminded how trivial the annoyance at school really is - and how blessed i am to have Peter in my life. i mean really, who wouldn't be?

now if you'll excuse me - he's singing in the shower and i have nothing more to say ;0)

*remind me to write something about oriental foods sometime - you wont believe how good some of the "previously unmentionables" are!

Saw V

i went to see the latest installment of the SAW franchise on friday - under protest, to be sure. i'm not all that big on blood and gore - but i do like a good psychological thriller.

in one word - the movie was: disappointing.

apart from leaving me a bit queezy, there was nothing to the movie. to be clear - i didn't see any of the previous movies. but if this was anything to go by, i'm glad i didn't.

sure - people get decapitated, blown to bits and mutilated in various ways - but there's no real story to it. gaps in the plot irritated the heck out of me - and what passed for character development or unraveling of the "mystery" was seriously under-cooked.

it seems that Saw V had a few intriguing ingredients, but these were merely slapped together with no thought or cohesion. like making a club sandwich by taking a day-old, white bread crust, piling on some steamed chicken and drowning it in ketchup. dress it with fried sweet potato peels and a 1000 island sauce.

what makes it a club sandwich?

exactly.

bullet list madness

it's one of those saturdays: my brain is running spirals through 4 dimensions and neither of my twins - nor my subconscious archer - have anything remotely resembling a grasp on the horse's reins...

just a taste of what's buzzing upstairs:

tiramisu requires:

• Mascarpone cheese
• raw eggs
• sugar
• espresso coffee
• ladyfingers
• liquor (substitute)
  
• cocoa
• heavy cream (should never be merely optional).

5 experiences i'd like:

• lunch @ El Bulli, Spain
• dinner @ Bukhara, India
• breakfast in Australia
• living in France
• the Guggenheim in Bilbao, Spain
  

stages of learning:

• acquisition
• fluency
• generalizaton
• adaptation

or:

• unconscious incompetence
• conscious incompetence
• conscious competence
• unconscious competence

for apartment:

• mirrors
• crockery
• frames for art
• art
• comfortable couch
• heaps of old books (hardcover-ish)
  
• mop (cleaning service?)
• fix the washing machine
• drawing board
• magnets (idea board, fridge etc)
  
• lighting solutions
• air conditioner
• sound system (O.Cat speakers?)

check the lease - maybe a smaller apartment is the answer?

freelance income supplements:

• copy writing
  
• magazine work
• apparel design (graphic tee trend set to grow before it finally blows over)
  
• creative studio (too soon)
• resurrect life-stylist concept

aaaaaarrrgghhh - go to sleep!

meanwhile, back in Azania

with american politics (Коростели летели, летели, ..., летели лет сорок - or whatever passes for it) keeping everyone entertained and blissfully unaware - south africa is set to bleed again:


Cape Town - Cartoonist Jonathan Shapiro on Monday defended his controversial cartoon of Jacob Zuma preparing to rape justice, saying he thought "very, very carefully" before doing it.
The African National Congress and its tripartite alliance partners have condemned the cartoon as disgusting, while ANC secretary-general Gwede Mantashe labelled it racist.
The cartoon, published in the Sunday Times under Shapiro's pen-name, Zapiro, shows a blindfolded female figure labelled "justice system", being pinned down by Zuma's political allies.
The ANC president is depicted in the cartoon unzipping his pants, while Mantashe urges him: "Go for it, boss!"
Shapiro said he "absolutely" refuted the racism charge, and that his record in the struggle years spoke for itself.
"There is a very, very pronounced tendency in this country towards exceptionalism, as if our politicians are more sacrosanct than politicians worldwide. That I take issue with," he said.
"I really feel strongly that they have to take a hard look at what they are doing and not use the red herring of racism."
He said he was not surprised that the cartoon had provoked strong reaction, as the image was "outrageous", and a "very explosive thing".
-------

i think the shower head is a nice touch!